raising the ‘accent piece’

8.21.2019

When your accent piece is a one year old

Leslie Tyler Design is a family owned and operated business. We are a boutique design firm that works with a small network of craftsmen and artisans across the country. What some may not know is that the most influential team member is also one of the tiniest. Truly our ‘accent piece’, within the artfully designed space. Our daughter, Seven. To make everything clear from the onset. Seven is her name not her age or the number of ‘her’ that there are (thank goodness) and she is our one and a half year old intern. If you’ve stumbled upon or IG account @blackhouseseven you will find her present almost always she is not staged, she usually is sitting right in the middle of everything, whether it is sourcing for a client, attending a meeting, or drafting contracts, SHE. IS. THERE. And it is entirely intentional.

A journey that began over six years ago long before Seven, Austin and I had the purposeful intention to establish ourselves in a way that would allow us to be productive working professionals while still being readily available, and in the company of our future child(ren). More than simply saving so that I could stay-at-home, it was figuring out how to be financially productive and also avoid the constraints of a nine to five. Entrepreneurship, here we come! It is interesting to note that we had this goal in mind while working on a 24 foot box truck, delivering appliances and pulling twelve hour days easy in any and all weather. Totally opposite of kid friendly. We were checking the things off our to-do list. A series of purchases and pay offs were necessary so that our next endeavour could be centered around passion, and provide more freedom with our time and tasks. 

I have heard many women I’ve found that men rarely attempt such a thing, shocking! stress there is no way to work from home, with your children present without setting up hard and strict boundaries, recruiting help, or losing their entire mind. I would like to emphasize that THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! There are many chosen careers that simply would not allow this method. Could you imagine a brain surgeon with a one year old on their hip? I don’t think that would end well for anyone. There are also some personalities that crave structure I have close to zilch of this, although I am trying. But I would like to share my experiences and methods and the greatest reward. I am here to tell you that IT IS POSSIBLE!

As I mentioned, personality is by far the best indicator if this is something to even attempt. I enjoy that I rarely do the exact same thing everyday. I enjoy that my day is broken up into mini tasks that go back and forth between ‘mommying’ and ‘directing a company’. This is my ‘schedule’ what we strive for, very rarely what we do, bear that in mind.

5:00am - 8/8:30  Quiet time work

8:30  Seven’s awake. BREAKFAST!

8:30 - 11;00 Answering emails (non intense to do tasks)/ Time with Seven

11:00- 1:00 Seven Naps/Quiet time work

1:00 - 3:00 Time with Seven - take walks, go to museums, paint, etc. 

3:00 - 6:00 Seven and Mommy work time - sourcing, errands, client visits

6:00 - 8:00 Family time and Dinner with Daddy!

8/8:30pm Bedtime

According to this, I get about five hours of dedicated time to conduct business and am still able to be available for her throughout the day, including her in tasks that are suitable. The fact is, as any parent can attest, this schedule is rarely executed flawlessly. I may wake up late five Am is not always the best time to begin one’s day, Seven may wake up early, or may not nap at all, Daddy may work late, bedtimes may be pushed back, or client’s and tasks for that day simply won’t fit within their scheduled ‘window’. In those cases, and what has kept me sane and productive surprisingly is to be present.

When I get overwhelmed and frustrated that I can’t be everywhere at once I take a moment to pause and embrace the present. The here and now, and what makes this moment exactly what it is meant to be. I chose this path to ensure my child would see business in an up close and accessible way. I also, and more importantly chose this path so that I, as her mother, could witness and be present for her day to day. I hear parents tell me all the time ‘it goes fast’ ‘enjoy this’ and I hear them loud and clear. It does go fast, and so I soak it all up. The moments she just wants to sit on my lap - even if I am dangerously close to missing a deadline. I soak up the trips to source beautiful works of art - even if she is racing through the gallery. I equally soak up missing a phone call because I was nursing and couldn’t pull away. 

As we approach the inevitable stage referred to as the ‘terrible twos’ I brace myself. I can begin seeing sights of a growing sense of independence and curiosity. I realize that working with her in this new phase will mean adjusting yet again. I intend on continuing this for the long haul homeschooling is still very much on the table. But I do acknowledge that adjustments along the way are necessary for everyone’s success. In exposing her to environments that are often closed to children my hope is that she is able to conduct herself comfortably in spaces that are foreign to her peers. Yaya grandmother and countless aunts and friends remain on standby, but with intention and purpose in what we are doing I believe we will excel in this journey and prove that the motto cannot define our reality.

I cannot stress this enough, sharing my experience is in no way intended to pressure anyone to work how we work. Logistically it cannot work for everyone she literally could not go to work with her Dad until she’s a teen, period. And every parent and personality does not work the same. But what I would like to stress is the possibility that as professional, and as parent’s instead of striving to separate the two, look for ways to combine. It is true that our most productive ‘work years’ are coincidentally the same years we are expected to raise and nurture our families and children. Maybe it is not by chance, maybe it was the whole point. Children have long been called ‘the greatest teachers’. I believe it is time to get out of the way of that and let them teach us, teach us in every part of our lives not just ‘Baby Shark’

Let our children be the accent pieces. Let them be the high notes that spark the flawlessly decorated room. When I am styling for a photo shoot I usually set everything perfect and then add ‘life’ the ‘quirk’. It may be a chair left slightly turned or the drip of coffee by the mug. That is the evidence of Seven. When I stopped striving for my view to be ‘perfect’ I realized that it already was.